Endurance

A long time ago I began to pray for endurance.  Why?

I am a runner by nature... believe it or not in my not so distant past (okay you may not want to believe that part) I actually had a track scholarship to Marshall University.  So I identify all to well with the training and work ethic needed to compete at that level.  You can't get very far if you don't train, train, and.... yep you guessed it, train some more.

Racing is only fun if you can compete with the crowd around you.... however, the training process to achieve that goal is grueling and less than desirable!  I learned quickly that without those long days of pushing myself hard, past the point of where I thought I could go.... I would never reach my goal.

If you are familiar with training you know that it isn't pleasant, it hurts, and it often feels like punishment.  So how do you convince yourself to do it day after day?  Well, you must overcome your first and most difficult obstacle.... Your Mind!!!    Believing in your ability to achieve your goal will determine whether you reach your goal.

Not only does your body need to be conditioned but more importantly your mind does as well.  I use to have a saying with my personal training clients (I told you running was a large part of my past), "Mind over matter... if you don't mind, it won't matter!" Imagine getting to hear that first thing in the morning from a peppy little trainer running beside you!   

What does all of this have to do with praying for endurance?

en·dur·ance ~ 

noun

    1.  the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way.

One day while I was praying with a friend I prayed for endurance, something I did regularly in my private prayer time.  When we finished she looked confused and questioned me, "Why did you pray for endurance?"  She said that she had never thought about praying for endurance and wondered what prompted me to do so.  

I told her that I see my life in comparison to running a race.... this life is like a marathon for me (which is a big deal when your a sprinter by nature).  I was great with the quick short distances but it's those long ones that have always taken a toll on me. If you have ever experienced long distance runs you know that there is moment when you hit a proverbial wall... or should I say it HITS YOU!!  

It's the point where you want to give up and sercome to the pain that has been slowly taking over your body. Endurance gives you the strength to push through and reach the goal set before you, however, you can't obtain it without hard work.

So how do you train your mind for your race and gain the confidence to believe in the ability to reach your finish line.... by growing stronger spiritually.  If we want endurance in our journeys we must pursue it with persistence.  Spending time daily with God allows Him to fortify us with the ability to keep running when everything in us says, "I can't take anymore!"  

I will hit many "walls" in my life and unfortunately my little, "Mind of matter matter" phrase won't be enough to get me to the other side of my struggles.  So I will continue to request the gift of endurance from the only one that can provide it for me.

I have been on some very long journeys lately, but God's provision of endurance has kept me 
in the race.  My eyes are fixed on the goal before me and I will persevere until I cross the finish line.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

 In a race all the runners run. But only one gets the prize. You know that, don’t you? So run in a way that will get you the prize.  All who take part in the games train hard. They do it to get a crown that will not last. But we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

So I do not run like someone who doesn't run toward the finish line. I do not fight like a boxer who hits nothing but air. No, I train my body and bring it under control. Then after I have preached to others, I myself will not break the rules and fail to win the prize.

Rumor has it....

There's a rumor that has been passed along for years, it's been circulating for so long it's origin is unclear.  And although it can't be found in the Bible it is quoted frequently along side of scripture......

"God never gives you more than you can handle."

Okay let's be honest most of us are not only guilty of saying it at least once in our lives but also resting in it's false security. Only recently has it come to my attention (through a powerful message on faith) that this wonderful feel good thought is nothing more than a MYTH.  But hold on and hear me out because there is hope....

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ~ 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Although, it is well intended to use this sediment to comfort someone going through a difficult phase in their life, it is absolutely false and misleading.  The Bible is full of people who had far more than they could handle (checkout Hebrew 11 for a nice recap).  These men and women not only survived their trials but thrived and all of them shared one common thread....they all had unshakable, never wavering, undeniable.... FAITH!  Faith not in themselves, or their own abilities but in their Creator... the one that can really handle the circumstances we face.   But first things first.... we need to just start at the basics, we must commit ourselves to the giver of Life so that we may receive His immeasurable source of strength.

Hebrews 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Faith! It's the key that unlocks the door to our greatest resource which will enable God's strength to penetrate our lives.  God not only wants to be with us in ALL of the circumstances, but he wants to carry us through our darkest ones... baring the load and comforting our souls.   Our God's shoulders are bigger and stronger...

II Corinthians 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Pastor Marc Sundstorm teaches us in his message "By Faith" that: "You can always endure a little more than you think you can, but you will never have more than you and God can’t handle together.  There is nothing we can’t endure through faith but we must look to the future by fixing our eyes on Jesus, because what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal."  He goes on to remind us that, "When things are good we rely on ourselves but when things are hard we rely on God."

Trials are not meant to destroy us! In fact it is quite the opposite, these times are opportunities for us to strengthen our faith and prove to the world that we live what we believe . Our experiences equip us to help others and point them back to the Father.

James 1:12 "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

So it's time to put our faith into action and debunk the rumor.  You will never again hear me utter the words...

"God will never give you more than you can handle."

Instead I will share the truth...  

God will never give you more than HE can handle.

Click here to listen to the Holy Spirit clear up this age old rumor through Pastor Marc's powerful message.

The Lord is My Strength Psalm 28:6-8 "Blessed be the LORD, Because He has heard the voice of my supplication. The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him. The LORD is their strength, And He is a saving defense to His anointed.…"

Our Sick Little Super Hero

I am so grateful to everyone that has been thinking and praying for us these past few days.  Our little super hero has been a pretty sick little guy.   Thank you everyone who has expressed your concern and asked for updates.

So here's where we are....

We started antibiotics because he had been sick for a few weeks and just couldn't shake it on his own.  He immediately began to have severe diarrhea that was causing open sores which prompted us to discontinue the amoxicillin.

A couple of days later he started running high fevers around the clock.

Since the fevers were spiking pretty high over and over again I decided try to just make do with what we had for the day.... fearing the infection would be worse than the diarrhea ( I guess you could say that I was weighing my odds and going with what seemed least harmful... or so I thought!!!)

So Sunday morning Daddy took the others to church and little man and I stayed behind.  I gave him the antibiotic in hopes of combating this nasty attack on his little body.  After a few cuddles  I set up his feed and put him down for a nap.

When he woke from his nap it was almost two hours exactly and I noticed that he had spit up.  I picked him up and wiped him clean, that's when "IT" began.....and "IT" didn't end for two hours!  I guess I was first hoping that it was just a stomach bug (seems odd to hope for something like that but it beats acknowledging that we were in the midst of another reaction).

When Todd came home he agreed that this wasn't any bug and he needed treatment right away.  I was still totally shocked that it could be the medicine, that isn't a common trigger for kids like Cohen and it just didn't make sense.   After IV fluids and Zofran and a Tylenol suppository,  our little super hero was finally able to hold his head up again and flash his sweet smile.

He was doing really well by the time we got home!  Full of excitement to see his little gang, he even mustered up enough energy to play a little game of hide and seek with his sisters.  But as the night went on those relentless fevers began to rear their ugly heads again... we spent the entire night trying to keep it down and keep him comfortable.  

Monday morning I placed calls to his pediatrician and Allergist at Johns Hopkins and waited to hear back about the antibiotic reaction.

In the mean time... Cohen's tube came out which only complicated things since he was refusing to take any medicine by mouth.  I made a plan to take him to the pediatrician's office and have them help me put his tube back in, but before we could even leave the house his fever spiked to 105 degrees.  

Our amazing pediatrician checked him out and found no visible signs for the fever,  We had  RSV and flu tests at the emergency room but we decided to repeat them anyway.....still all negative.  We all agreed that we had to have an antibiotic without any flavoring to be safe, so they had one compounded  at their in-house pharmacy.

Before I was able to get home I received a call from Teri, the Nurse Practitioner for our allergist at Johns Hopkins.  I explained the events and she agreed that he had definitely had an FPIES reaction to the medicine but she just didn't understand why!  She informed me that the flavoring is artificial and shouldn't have triggered a reaction.  Since she had never seen this before she decided to discuss it with Dr. Wood (our allergist) and then get back to me.

As I was getting everyone in the house my phone rang again, but I wasn't able to get to it in time.  The message that was left on my phone was frantic.....she said "whatever you do DO NOT give him that compounded version of the antibiotic.....I hope I have reached you in time, I will keep trying you!"  When we finally connected she told me that she had reached Dr. Wood in his car on the way to a meeting, she didn't even get through with explaining everything to him when he told her "don't let them give him the amoxicillin, it isn't the flavoring!  I have seen this before, I am absolutely sure that he is reacting to the drug!"  

God's timing is perfect because if that conversation had taken place any later or we had gotten the medicine earlier in the day.... we would have been right back in the ER.  We feel so blessed to have Dr. Wood and his experience leading our care team.  It makes me ill to think about how close we came to making my sweet little man very, very sick again.

Unfortunately, they now believe that the new antibiotic is also causing a reaction, like the first....blood in stools and diarrhea that could progress into an acute reaction again.  They believe is body is treating these medicines as food and rejecting them.  So it looks like we are left with only two option for our little man.....rocephin shots and/or IV antibiotics!!

I love looking at pictures of when he feels well!

Wednesday, I received a call from our pediatrician's office they wanted us to come in for blood work and take urine samples.  It was clear to see that they were all very concerned about him and how to manage his unique care.  They are working very hard to try to get us into Cincinnati Children's hospital as soon as possible.  I was told today by our pediatrician to start making a plan for staying there for several days.

Fevers seem to be down for now, so we will count our blessing where we can however there is still concern because he is having excessive night sweats (which started before the fever).  We have a lot to figure out about our little super hero but one thing is for certain, he is definitely keeping us on our toes!

I need to brag on my little gang for a minute!  I had to take all five with me to Cohen's appointment yesterday and they were incredible. While poor Cohen was being stuck with needles and tubes in one corner of the room, his older siblings were doing reading lessons with the younger ones in another.  The nurses were so amazed with my little ones and so was I.  We arrived at our appointment at 12:45 and didn't walk back out of the doors until 4:00.  I couldn't have asked for more polite and well behaved kids...I am so very proud of them and thankful for all they do for each other!! 

I am one very blessed mama!!!!

Thank you again for all of your prayers, there is such comfort in knowing that so many people care enough to pray and think of us.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Being a Mama

Lets face it becoming a mother is job in itself.   We "willing" choose to wreck our bodies enduring the unthinkable for 40 long weeks, trading all physical comfort simply to have our sweet blessings. 

Or we spend countless hours praying little ones into our lives, birthing them through a deep passionate desire and  the blood sweat and tears that come with adoption. 

Regardless of how we were born into the job of motherhood we all under went the same transformation as our hearts grew large enough to accommodate another human being.  And although our stories may look a little different I know that we can all agree on one thing..... This job comes with the most incredible PERKS!

Where else in the world would someone...

  *Desperately want your kisses so badly that they aren't bothered by your morning breath

*Depend solely on you to care for their every need and not complain about the way you're doing it

*Care enough to cry for you when you leave the room

*Frantically search every room in the building just to make sure you haven't left

*Believe your kisses and hugs have magical healing powers

*Be so desperate to be in your arms that they cling to your legs

*Care less about your appearance, putting much more value on your ability to keep them fed, warm, and loved

When in life do you get to...

*Witness someones first "everything"

*Experience someone melting your heart with just a look in their eye

*Feel like the most important person in the world

*Restore your faith in the world by seeing the reflection of true innocence in their little eyes 

*Look past every flaw or mistake you ever made in life with such unconditional love 

*Witness the magic and wonder the world come alive around you by the mere sound of little laughter 

 *Desperately have someone want to be in your constant presence and NEVER tire of you

*Experience someone's NEED for your undivided attention more deeply or deservingly than anyone else in the world

*Be part of a world where dolls talk, reindeer fly, and best friends come with stuffing and fur

*Remove all fear and helplessness for another person, simply by placing your arms around them

*Have the opportunity to watch a tiny helpless person develop into an amazing thinking, achieving, and prosperous member of society.... And know that you had everything to do with it

Sure, this job is difficult and even impossible at times.  I am sure there is a list a mile long of all the things that are unpleasant, but I'll be honest I just can't seem to remember any of them....   

If we were given a chance to do it all over again, enduring whatever we faced to bring these little ones into our lives....We would say without hesitation... ABSOLUTELY!

Take heart dear mamas, your work is not in vein and even know it may go unnoticed by the world today it will become evident in legacy of the lives that we daily nurture.

Proverbs 38:28a  Her children arise and call her blessed.

Johns Hopkins & Cohen (a match made in heaven)

I think I can just about reach one!

Here fishy, fishy...

We are so grateful for all the prayers that have been going up on our behalf.  It is so humbling to walk through this journey with Cohen, where we are in a constant state of learning.  After having four children I had apparently convinced myself that I had seen and experienced almost everything....and then I met Cohen!

We were truly blessed to have been directed to Dr. Robert Wood by a veteran FPIES mother and the founder of the IAFFPE organization.  And lets not forget my very pushy and well intended sister that helped me realize that it was time to change physicians.  Dr. Wood is considered to be one of the top three experts for FPIES and has been not only writing journals about the subject but has been involved in research as well.  He has treated over 500 patients with this condition....it is safe to say HE IS AN EXPERT!!

Cohen, making new friends!

Oh what a difference it makes when you are sitting in the presences of someone that knows your child's illness inside and out.   Todd and I left the appointment with full confidence that our little man was finally in the right hands.

For those of you that don't know Cohen was diagnosed earlier this year with a condition called:
~ Food Protein Induced Entercolitis Syndrome..... or FPIES [pronounced F-pies]

Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES) is an allergic reaction in the gastrointestinal system. The most common triggers are milk and soy, but any food (even those thought to be hypoallergenic e.g. rice, oat) can cause an FPIES reaction. FPIES typically starts within the first year of life.

Unlike most food allergies, the FPIES reactions are delayed and usually begin about 2 hours after ingestion of the causative food. FPIES reactions are characterized by profuse vomiting and diarrhea. In about 20% of cases the child will have such an extreme reaction to a food that they will go into shock and need to be taken quickly to the Emergency Room for immediate treatment. ~IAFFPE

Where we are now:
Cohen has either vomited and gone into shock or had blood in his stools from every food that we have given him up to this point.  He currently receives all of his nutrition from a special Amino Acid based formula via a NG tube (aside from nursing at bedtime).  We are working to help him take in more formula orally but it has been a challenge.  Trialing foods has also been extremely difficult because Cohen has developed a food aversion.

What we learned at Johns Hopkins:
Dr. Wood impressed us immensely with how thoroughly he had investigated Cohen's case before he ever walked into the room.  He was able to fill in the gaps for us and explain how all of this fits together, shedding some light on the struggles we have faced in the past few months.  

Dr. Wood began to inform us, in a very, "let's cut to the chase" manner, that Cohen has a very complicated case of FPIES, and proceeded to give us a list of expectations. 

 The Hard to Hear

~We are dealing with an atypical or more severe case of FPIES
~We can expect to be on this special formula for a very long time... years
~Cohen's body doesn't handle food well
~It is very likely that he has some additional GI issues
~Given Cohen's history, we must expect to fail far more food trials than we will pass 
~Not to be surprised if we don't have any or only a couple of safe foods by the time he turns two
~Be patient and prepared for a very long difficult road
~There are no tests that can guide us, just our instincts and Cohen's history
~Stop all food trials for the next four weeks and push formula
~Cohen's food aversion will probably get worse before it gets better "because frankly food as always hurt him"
~Consider placing a g-tube into his stomach to feed him his formula
~In 6 weeks we will begin trailing some lower risk foods at home and then later on we will trial big triggers in the hospital

The Hope

~That he and his staff will be there for us every step of the way
~That most kids outgrow this condition around the age of five (probably the only time I smiled during the appointment)

Although nothing Dr. Wood said was a shock to either of us, it was still difficult to hear the words come from him.  I guess there was the hope that things weren't as bad as they seemed.  However, with all that what was said we still brought home a smiling little boy to love-on and enjoy.  

I am learning that moving forward will quite often resemble backwards steps.  Excepting the obstacles ahead allows me to prepare myself for our battle and to no longer feel side blinded by set backs.  Things won't be easy but we are very fortunate to have hope that one day Cohen will no longer have to deal with his allergies.  We are confident that we will eventually find our groove and begin to live a new kind of "normal".... I mean really, who defines "normal" anyway??

What I am sure of:
Cohen is not FPIES, it is merely part of what makes him unique and wonderfully made.   FPIES may slow us down a bit but it will never keep us from making the most of this beautiful life that God has given us.  This journey has so much to teach us and I pray that someday we will be able to use our experience to help others.  

Today, in the midst of learning how to navigate through this new way of life we will focus on finding the good in our circumstance... and give thanks for having been given this wonderful little guy that just happens to need a little extra care!

Psalm 25:1-3a  
In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.  I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.  No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame.

How are journey began...


Current Studies:
http://iaffpe.org/docs/Ruffner_et_al_JACI-IP_2013.pdf

http://iaffpe.org/docs/FPIES_to_trivial_contact_w_rice_EJP_May_2013.pdf

Talk or Tell

My goal as a parent is to equip my children with the necessary tools for them to have the ability to mange themselves and learn self control...so that they may grow into adults that know how to manage themselves and demonstrate self control.   

One of my greatest priorities is to provide my children with the ability to resolve conflict with others.  Kids aren't born knowing how to handle situations, we all must learn the techniques to bring resolution.

I think one of this biggest problems that we as parents face in our day to day parenting is the dreaded "Tattling!"  It it often seems like it is more of an instinctive trait... as oppose to a learned behavior.      

It is tempting for us parents to intervene and problem solve for our children but this doesn't teach our little ones to be able to resolve the inevitable conflicts that are lurking in their futures.  If we don't equip them with the knowledge and skills needed to work through disputes than we are disabling them to stand on their own in the face of trouble.

You could say that I have my own little focus group in my house, which makes it ideal for testing and trying out techniques for child rearing!  There are plenty of opportunities in our home for children to practice self control and conflict resolution....but first I must teach it.

So here is the method that seems to be working amazingly well with our five little blessings.  However, it could work with any number of children, whether you have one or twenty.  

"Talk or Tell" has revolutionized the way my children deal with each other and their disputes.


What is it:

Tell, (a.k.a) Tattling:  Seeking an adult with the goal of getting another child in trouble.  However, telling has one exception..... Seeking an adult with the goal of keeping yourself or another child safe.

Talk:  This is the act of handling a situation by talking it over with the person offending you or disobeying the rules.  For example: "Bob you know that I don't like it when you hit me, it hurts and doesn't make me want to play with you." or "Sally you know mama told us not to eat a snack before dinner."

How to apply it:

First, define the difference between tell/tattling on someone and talking with someone.

Next, spend time working through scenarios of when to Tell and when to Talk, make it a fun game and give them lots of chances to practice the appropriate responses.

Tattling is an easy concept for little ones to understand, the usually pick it up quickly and on their own....lol!  Talking on the other hand takes some practice to learn how to do it correctly, which is especially important for our children as they get older.

Talking requires you to care about the other person and their well being and having a desire for them to avoid bringing consequences upon themselves.   When we practice "Talk" scenarios we also discuss consequences of our actions when one refuses to listen to the voice of reason.  I teach my children that if the person you are trying to "Talk" with doesn't heed your wisdom then remove yourself from the situation and let them accept their consequences (this is not a chance for you to tattle).   It only takes a few times of receiving consequences for them to realize that taking the advice would have been the better choice. 

When my children come to me with the News Reporter Look on their face I simply say....Tell or Talk?  Their look quickly changes to one of deep thought.  Usually, they respond with, "Hum, never mind."  

The Telling Consequence:
Well, every good method must have it's motivation!  I make sure that whenever I hear them using the "Talk" approach I praise them.....I praise them in front of each other.....I praise them to their daddy, and I praise them in front of family and friends.  Praise goes a long, long way, which isn't surprising it's the best motivation for all of us!!  

However, on occasion you will have a News Reporter that just can't help themselves.  If someone tattles on another person......well then both the Teller and the Tell'e receive a consequence.  Yup, this motivates all parties to either, not commit offenses or to quickly encourage each other to resolve the conflict on their own.... without ME (the Consequence Giver).

We have a consequence chart on our wall, which is kept in a highly visible place where the kids can get to it.  If they receive a consequence than they must take a yellow strip out of the little blue folder and put it in their pocket.  Each strip has a household chore written on the back (these are not their regular chore)  Their conssequence remains a mistery until the end of the day when it is time to "pay the piper"...lol (this cuts down on all day pouting about their new chore).  Really, it's a win-win for all of us!  They learn valuable lessons and I get much needed extra help around the house. 

Since my ultimate goal is to TEACH them, I use a discipline approach  to change the undesirable behavior. 

*discipline- the act of  teaching appropriate behavior given along side of a consequence
*punishment-  consequence without correction

It is essential for the "News Reporter" and I discuss the proper way to handle the situation, so each mistake becomes an opportunity to learn how to succeed.  We then go and find the Tellie so that we can have a " DO OVER".  The two practice the correct responses using our "Talk" method, we also discuss how we could have avoided the problem in the first place.  

It is extremely important to be patient and willing to teach our children, so that they will be better equipped adults.... which is our ultimate goal!!  Kids aren't going to get this right every time....lets face it most of us adults still struggle with proper conflict resolution.   

I would love to hear if you tried this method and if it worked for your family.  Please feel free to share methods that you use that work for your family, after all it takes a village and we are all in this together!



Proverbs 20:11
Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.



Other Post on Similar Topics:

Winning Their Hearts                            Learning Grace  
                                                                   



Yes Ma'am

                                                                                   
Big Little Blessings

Devil May Have Scored But God's Still Ahead!

You could say that it has been a rough few months for our family.  If you have been following our story you know about our struggle with Cohen's FPIES and his surgery and hospital stays.  In addition to what has been going on with Cohen we have had two of our little butterflies undergo surgeries as well. Then....just to top things off my wonderful husband's car decided to end it's life, no worries though God provided for us once again..bigger and better than we could have imagined.  During that process our little bullfrogs, butterflies, and myself had been left to spend a lot of time together hanging out at home while daddy used our car to get back and forth to work, which made grocery shopping extremely difficult.
Even beyond the recent trials there were many, many visits to many different doctors throughout this past year (that's a lot of many(s)....right!).  Our list includes...  x-rays, ultrasounds, pulmonary test, scopes, blood work, I.Vs., echo cardiograms,

and...
hospitals stays. I lost count somewhere around 75 (seriously no exaggerating just ask my friends that graciously kept my other children so that I could make these appointments).   I think I forgot to mention that somewhere in the midst of all this my big bullfrog was shot by an air soft gun damaging his retina and drain in his eye, I think he just felt left out of all the doctor visits.  Thankfully he is almost fully recovered and doing well but he required two appointments a week for over a month and then every week for two more.  So I guess you could say we have been rather busy for awhile...... but hey let's be honest I really brought all of this on myself!

Yep...I am ready to accept responsibility, I have blatantly made myself a perfect target for trials.  I have been working hard on my relationship with God and digging into His word trying to figure out His will for my family.  So you see it stands to reason that I am going to be attacked....and attacked I have been!  But I refuse to let the devil win!!  Those who have encountered his attacks know that he doesn't fight fair and he loves to kick us when we were are down....in fact when we are down is his favorite time to strike us hard.

What the devil doesn't get is that I am never down by myself, and I am never without my greatest source of strength.  My God will never forsake me or leave me and in the midst of any trial I will always have my joy.  So I will choose to find joy in these trials as well...

I could be mad that my children are chronically ill..... but I will choose to be glad that they will survive their illness.

I could be frustrated with doctors appointments and hospital stays.... but I choose to be glad that they have brought us closer to managing my little ones illnesses.

I could say why them, why me.... but I choose to say "how can we be used for Your kingdom through these experiences?"

I could complain about how much easier life should be... but I choose to be thankful that it isn't more difficult.

I could be angry that I can't do more to help my little ones... but I choose to be grateful that the One that loves them even more than me..... can!

I could be hurt that difficult times seem to continuously fall upon our family... but I choose to be thankful that I have been given the opportunity to be a part of this beautiful family.

I could hide behind my insecurities of being different from others and give into my fear of being a lesser mother than my peers... but I choose to shout to the world about what God is doing through these trials and accept my inequities, embracing my lessons in humility.

I could blame my God for all of this... but I choose to believe that He never wanted this world to contain sin and it is that same sin that causes trials in our lives. Once sin entered this world we all became destined to face trials in our lives (we can thank Adam and Eve for that one).

If I give into every "I could" I will be allowing the devil to score, so I will stick with the "I chooses" and give my God the upper hand, while I watch in astonishment as once again He defeats the enemy.  Unfortunately, these attacks will never cease and I know that the devil will not give up, so I will shield myself as best I can with the Words of my God.  It is through His strength that I can get back up and prepare myself for the next battle, knowing that something greater is at stake.  The devil will never stop....but he will never win!

Thank you God for never giving up on this imperfect person that I have become, one day I will once again be the perfect creation that you molded into existence.

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God                                                                                                            Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.