Meet our little puzzle....
And quite the complicated one I might add, but with every new appointment we learn more and more about our little superhero. Our doctors are doing their best to help bring as much clarity as possible to our situation.
One of the most difficult things I have heard thus far is....."We may never know why." I am a person who likes to research and find answers to problems and it is hard to except that sometimes there just aren't any.
I spend countless hours pouring over my sons's medical records, lab reports and searching for information on the computer, it is my job to keep looking! When you are dealing with something rare and undereaserched you become the expert for your child! I have learned some valuable lessons along this journey...
~Even with well-intended physicians you may not receive the best advice, in fact in our case it was quite dangerous.
~Although I don't posses a medical degree I am the expert on my child's illness, not discounting the valuable knowledge of medical professionals but every doctor can't be an expert on every illness.... so we searched for ones experienced with our disease.
~People aren't perfect and there are no exceptions in medicine, so I must be prepared for mistakes and have the courage to confront those making them (despite all that was written in Cohen's chart about NO FOOD and the allergy alert bracelet on his leg stating FOOD....they still tried to feed him).
~I have the most amazing support system of friends and family and I don't know where I would be without their love and generosity.
~God's grace is ALWAYS sufficient and will see me through!!
Our Newly Discovered Puzzle Pieces
We met with our new GI, Dr. Putnam at Cincinnati's Children Hospital and I found myself hearing some familiar words. Much of what he said confirmed what our allergist at Johns Hopkins had stated, but he went a step further. He was very honest in his explanation. He discussed with us what is known about FPIES, there is far more that they don't know and may never know, and that they have theories that desperately need research.
Here is the break down on what he believes is going on with OUR superhero:
- Cohen is a severe reactor and we may never know why he reacts to so many foods.
- Refereed to him as a severe hypersensitive immune responder:
So in other words... When we get sick our bodies respond by creating antibodies so that it will recognize the illness the next time and be able to fight it off easier (pretty awesome handy work God). For some reason Cohen's immune system responds to food the same way and according to our GI the more we feed him the sicker we are making him.
- Dr. Putnam's theory: Stop all food trials for as long as we can in an attempt to reset Cohen's immune system and hopefully reintroduce foods later without reactions. There are no guarantees but we have nothing to loose. He was very passionate about educating people that children like Cohen only get sicker the more we try to force food on them, which only supports why he is so resistant to eating food. To Cohen FOOD = Pain
- Then we asked the burning question: Are we dealing with an extremely severe case of FPIES or is there more going on? His response was, "Yes, that is our big question and we will try to figure out more but unfortunately, we may never have all of the answers."
Where Does This Leave Us Now?
It was determined that Cohen urgently needed a G-tube placed because of his increased risk of aspiration as well as other concerns. After the surgery we were admitted into the hospital and began the daunting task of gradually increasing formula feed rates and concentrations. Cohen didn't tolerate the faster rate at first and began to loose weight. We finally managed to increase both and stop the weight loss, however we never regained any. Since home he has lost a little more and is weighed weekly by his pediatrician and monitored for belly distention. Our little man has also been having more issues with blood and mucus stools, which only leaves us with more unresolved questions.
In our FPIES world we are usually left with many uncertainties, filtering through symptoms as best we can. This is very difficult for the type A in me (yes, I have a slight obsessive compulsive side.... there you go honey I admitted it). I like concrete answers, written in black and white.... this living in grey is a struggle for me.
So I have learned to triage....deal with what needs attending to at that moment and not dwell on the unknowns of this illness. I am a work in progress, learning to turn things over and worry less...
God, grant me the serenityWe will continue to fight and advocate for our little superhero and diligently work to keep him thriving. Life isn't easy but it isn't suppose to be. Our situation makes us far more sensitive to others and what they are dealing with. My older children look at life differently because of the strength that they see in their little brother.... what a beautiful reminder for all of us that true joy doesn't come from this world!!!
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.