Sunday, August 28, 2011

My Sweet Little Half Hearted Angel


It is a very surreal feeling being in this hospital today.  This past week I have watched so many tear soaked eyes pass by me.  My heart has been filled with so much compassion for the little ones confined by these walls.  This pain is so near and dear to my family.  

It was exactly 37 years ago today that my parents walked these halls with pain in their hearts.  My little sister was almost the exact same age has Cohen when she came in these doors but never left.   I can't even imagine the strength that it took my parents to get on these elevators and walk into a crowd of people that knew nothing of their pain.  What it must have felt like to retrace the footprints that they had made with hope in their hearts,  now replaced with the deepest sorrow imaginable.

  No family should ever have to say good-bye to a sweet child. 


Dear Sweet Sister,

For so many years I didn't mention your name simply because of the complex conversation that it would bring upon me. When I was asked the dreaded question, "how many siblings do you have?"  I would simply reply, three... oh how untrue!  

How could I deny you like that....Why was it easier for me to just pretend you didn't exist?  You were real, you were loved, you are missed and you are and will forever be my sister!  I am sorry for the selfish way that I have avoided talking about you for fear of the uncomfortable conversation that it would bring.  


Now, as a mother I truly realize that it is so much more important to remember you and the beautiful gift that you were.  I will never understand why you had to leave us so soon or the pain that your leaving left behind, but what I do know is that while you were here you blessed us all.  For some reason you came to us with only half a heart but the love that poured out of you filled our hearts to the fullest, sustaining us util we are together again.  No longer will I worry about making others feel uncomfortable with your story.
  You will never again be my sweet little secret half hearted angel, for I will proudly tell the world about my sister with wings.


My life has been filled with so many moments that I wish we could have shared and although I have dreamt of you being there, I hold on to the hope that you shared them with me through the windows of heaven.  

So today as your sweet little nephew and I walk these halls we will celebrate you, forever remembering your beautiful little life. 

 Happy Going Home Birthday little sister, we miss you so much and can't wait for the day that we are reunited in heaven.




Theresa Marie Aluise

Your life is a reminder that strength comes in small packages and that life is too short to worry ourselves with insignificant details.  I will hug each of my little ones tonight because I can't hug you 
but I will look forward to the day I can.
I love you my sweet little half hearted angel!

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