I have learned the hard way that every question doesn't necessarily have an answer. And that there are more colors than just black and white.
In a world were your child's illness presents more questions than answers you no longer know what exactly to hope for anymore.
When you're the parent of an undiagnosed child you may find yourself feeling as though someone handed you a menu of possible illness and said,
After quickly noticing a less aggressive, easily treatable one, you eagerly make your decision, only to find out there are no guarantees that you will get what you selected.
And so you find yourself fearfully waiting for an answer and questioning...
"How long will it take for them to return with a verdict and which one will it be?"
Perhaps they will never return at all and you will be left wondering,
"Where do we go from here?"What do you hope for when you live in the topsy turvy world where testing that comes back negative is not necessarily good news AND extreme measures of treatments that WORK are bad signs of prognosis?
What do you hope for when your child's constellation of symptoms don't fit into any one category, leaving doctors no choice but to run tests after tests? In the end you are only left with more inconclusive information and uncertainty about your child's health and future.
What do you hope for when there are no good choices to hope for? It's simple...
You hope for another chance at today.
You hope for days without pain or hospital stays.
You hope for another opportunity to laugh louder, hug longer, and love deeper.
You hope for moments filled with lots of smiles and amazing memories.
You hope for wisdom to make the best decisions for your child, with no regrets.
You hope for answers and the strength to handle them when they finally come, no matter what they may be.
You hope that no one else has to feel this way and that someday children will never have to endure such things. And you pray that pain from your story will somehow have purpose, helping someone else that feels the sting of this kind of journey.
But above all else... you simply keep hoping, because without HOPE you have nothing!