Even beyond the recent trials there were many, many visits to many different doctors throughout this past year (that's a lot of many(s)....right!). Our list includes... x-rays, ultrasounds, pulmonary test, scopes, blood work, I.Vs., echo cardiograms,
hospitals stays. I lost count somewhere around 75 (seriously no exaggerating just ask my friends that graciously kept my other children so that I could make these appointments). I think I forgot to mention that somewhere in the midst of all this my big bullfrog was shot by an air soft gun damaging his retina and drain in his eye, I think he just felt left out of all the doctor visits. Thankfully he is almost fully recovered and doing well but he required two appointments a week for over a month and then every week for two more. So I guess you could say we have been rather busy for awhile...... but hey let's be honest I really brought all of this on myself!
Yep...I am ready to accept responsibility, I have blatantly made myself a perfect target for trials. I have been working hard on my relationship with God and digging into His word trying to figure out His will for my family. So you see it stands to reason that I am going to be attacked....and attacked I have been! But I refuse to let the devil win!! Those who have encountered his attacks know that he doesn't fight fair and he loves to kick us when we were are down....in fact when we are down is his favorite time to strike us hard.
What the devil doesn't get is that I am never down by myself, and I am never without my greatest source of strength. My God will never forsake me or leave me and in the midst of any trial I will always have my joy. So I will choose to find joy in these trials as well...
I could be mad that my children are chronically ill..... but I will choose to be glad that they will survive their illness.
I could be frustrated with doctors appointments and hospital stays.... but I choose to be glad that they have brought us closer to managing my little ones illnesses.
I could say why them, why me.... but I choose to say "how can we be used for Your kingdom through these experiences?"
I could complain about how much easier life should be... but I choose to be thankful that it isn't more difficult.
I could be angry that I can't do more to help my little ones... but I choose to be grateful that the One that loves them even more than me..... can!
I could be hurt that difficult times seem to continuously fall upon our family... but I choose to be thankful that I have been given the opportunity to be a part of this beautiful family.
I could hide behind my insecurities of being different from others and give into my fear of being a lesser mother than my peers... but I choose to shout to the world about what God is doing through these trials and accept my inequities, embracing my lessons in humility.
I could blame my God for all of this... but I choose to believe that He never wanted this world to contain sin and it is that same sin that causes trials in our lives. Once sin entered this world we all became destined to face trials in our lives (we can thank Adam and Eve for that one).
If I give into every "I could" I will be allowing the devil to score, so I will stick with the "I chooses" and give my God the upper hand, while I watch in astonishment as once again He defeats the enemy. Unfortunately, these attacks will never cease and I know that the devil will not give up, so I will shield myself as best I can with the Words of my God. It is through His strength that I can get back up and prepare myself for the next battle, knowing that something greater is at stake. The devil will never stop....but he will never win!
Thank you God for never giving up on this imperfect person that I have become, one day I will once again be the perfect creation that you molded into existence.
The Armor of God Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.