'Tis the Season for FOOD... the four letter word!

I use to love this time of year and all the fun that comes with it but this year is a little different.

As much as I want to get into the spirit I just can't help but feel a little less than festive. 

Have you ever stopped to think about how much food plays a role in our celebrations? I never gave it much thought aside from the occasional post dinner jokes about excessive calories or overindulgence. 

Although, this little four letter word, isn't the real reason for our celebrations, it is pretty hard to ignore when your child can't eat anything! 

And let's not forget it isn't just the lack of eating that's the problem, it's the missing out on all of the memory making fun that involves FOOD!

Honestly, it isn't even the fact that while everyone else indulges on mouth watering treats while my little guy slurps up shaved ice, that causes the biggest sting to my 'mother's heart'. 

It's the pumpkin carving and patches, trick-or-treating for candy, turkey and pie eating, Christmas cookie making... FUN... that I will miss the most.

I guess the hardest part is letting go of so many holiday traditions that we have had since our first child was born. 

I know that our little superhero will not miss these things, in fact he doesn't know any other way... it's me. I'm The One!

It will be me that misses getting to see his squeamish smile when he touches slimy pumpkin guts for the first time.

I'm the one that has to let go of not getting to watch a messy face toddler plunge into the thanksgiving fixings.

I'ts me that longs for the perfect image of all of my children gathered around a table with endless smiles as they cut out and decorate their Christmas cookies... while sneaking licks of icing when they think no one is looking!

I'm the one that is missing out on him doing the same family traditions that have become synonymous with the holidays.

Now, trust me I realize that I am blessed to even have the opportunity to share these holidays with my little guy, and I will not let anything keep me from soaking up every moment... but I would be lying if I said, "It doesn't hurt a bit."

Please don't get me wrong, we won't let this keep us from making wonderful memories, we are just going to have to get creative and find new ways to make jolly holiday fun. Very soon I will begin to relish in the joys that come from our new traditions... I promise!

But for now, Thank you...

... for not judging this special needs mama for letting her feelings of sadness surface for just a moment. 

... for allowing me to mourn the loss of the "normal" care free way of life that we use to enjoy. 

.... for supporting us in more ways than we could have ever imagined.

... for going above and beyond to make our little superhero feel included.


I feel better already!!